Whether you’re receiving calls from friends, family, or customers, it’s always a little awkward when their call goes to voicemail – which might be why so many people choose a funny voicemail message instead to ease the tension that comes with waiting for the voicemail tone.
Funny voicemail greetings are an excellent alternative for anyone looking to add that unique touch to their calls – they certainly beat the robotic default option that most of us settle for.
If you’re setting up a voicemail, but having trouble coming up with your own unusual, cheeky, rude, or funny out-of-office message, then check out some of the funny voicemail greetings below for some quick inspiration! (And, naturally, if you’re looking for a more professional option, then our live answering services are the way to go)
Funny answering machine messages
If there’s one thing that removes the awkwardness from leaving a voicemail, it’s a touch of humor. Below are our favorite funny answering machine messages that you can make use of:
- “Whatever unfortunate chain of events has led you to call my number this time, please leave your story here and I’ll call when I can.”
- (Sung to the tune of Call Me Maybe) – “Hey, I just missed you, hope you’re not crazy, so leave your name, I’ll call you maybe.”
- “You have reached the number you most recently dialed. Please leave a message after the tone.”
- “Hello. The person you are trying to reach cannot answer the phone right now, because they really don’t want to talk to you. Please leave a message, if you’re sure you want to risk it.”
- “Hello? [pause] Ha, I got ya – leave a voicemail!”
- ““Who calls people these days? I’ll answer you next time if I’m sure it’s not a scam.”
- “Hey! It’s (name). Want to hear a joke? Knock, knock! Who’s there? Not me, so leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
- “Hello, this is (name). If you’re hearing this then I’m almost certainly screening my calls and I don’t wanna talk to you right now. Sorry!”
- “This is (name). Not here. Leave it after the beep. Bye!”
- “You know what to do when you hear the beep.”
Join thousands of other businesses and upgrade your voicemail to an answering service. Our pricing starts from $70/mo for 20 minutes, view our pricing plans:
Rude voicemail greetings
As endearing as short, funny voicemail greetings can be, sometimes, it’s simply more appealing to leave a slightly rude greeting instead – helpful for weeding out spam calls, to be sure. Here are our favorite rude voicemail greetings for you to try out:
- “Who is this?! How did you get this number?!”
- “No one answers phone calls anymore, send me a text.”
- “Hello. You’ve reached this mailbox by mistake. Please check the number and call back!”
- “Hello, you’ve reached (name), now say something worth hearing.”
- “Hi, you’ve reached (name)’s voicemail. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave it to the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you’re a friend trying to give me money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number.”
- “Hello? Yeah… Uh-huh… Yeah… No, you stop yelling at me… Oh, you’re yelling alright… You know what, I’m hanging up… Yes, I am … (beep).”
- “Hello, if you’re hearing this, that means I’m probably trying to avoid you, so don’t leave a message because nobody likes you.”
- “Sorry I couldn’t come to the phone, I either did not want to talk, or I’m just preoccupied. I’ll return your call when it is convenient for me.”
- “Hey… okay, wait let me put you on speaker… Okay, what?… What?… Ugh! Can’t you just leave me a message?! Thanks!”
- “Hello? Oh, hey! Wait a minute, I can’t hear you. Sorry, hold on. Nope, still can’t hear you. Do you want to know why? Because I’m not here right now! Leave a message after the beep.”
Join thousands of other businesses and upgrade your voicemail to an answering service. Our pricing starts from $70/mo for 20 minutes, view our pricing plans:
Cute voicemail greetings
Finally, if you want to leave a message that’s both funny and endearing, then by all means add a cute twist to it. Why not try out one of our cute voicemail greetings below:
- “Okay, if this is any of my weirdo friends then I’m sorry I didn’t give you my new number. So, here it is (say your number). And again, that number is (say your number). So, call me.”
- “I’m glad you called, but I’m not home! Wait for the beep, leave your name, you’ve gotta leave your number. Wait for the beep! Wait…”
- “Hey, not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone. But not before because then the message gets cut off! (Insert a really long beep that goes on for a minute).”
- “Heyyy!…, What?… Can you repeat that??,… Sike! I’m not actually here, but you can leave me a message instead.”
- “I’m not here right now – leave me a message! Make it short and sweet or I’ll have to press delete.”
- “Hey, it’s (name). Please call me back ASAP. I’m out and I couldn’t get to the phone. I’m sorry and I promise I will do everything I can to call you back.”
- “Hi, if you’re my parents, I’m at church! If you’re my math teacher, I’ll give you my homework! If you’re a friend, I’ll get back to you when I can!”
- “Hey, what’s up? Sorry, I can’t get to the phone right now but leave a message and I’ll get back to you in 7-14 business days. Bye!”
- “Hi, I’m obviously not here right now – but while I’ve got you, here’s a few fun facts: did you know that most ginger cats are male, bats aren’t blind, and you can’t fold a piece of letter-size paper more than 8 times? Leave me a message if you’re not too stunned.”
- “The number you‘ve reached is currently not in service, but when I wake up and turn my phone back on, it will be!”
Join thousands of other businesses and upgrade your voicemail to an answering service. Our pricing starts from $70/mo for 20 minutes, view our pricing plans:
Avoid using voicemail with VoiceNation
Those were just our favorite funny voicemail messages that you can steal the next time you’re looking to update your own. But if you’re a business looking to improve your customer service, then a funny voicemail isn’t going to cut it for customers in a hurry, in which case you might want to consider our 24/7 live answering service instead! And if you’re not sure of the best option for your business, then take a look at our handy comparison of answering services vs voicemail.
Home to expert virtual receptionists with years of experience helping small businesses grow to new heights, the VoiceNation team are here to help you handle any and all phone calls that come your way!
Get in touch with us today, to find out more about our answering service pricing.